業餘基督徒

女兒回來一星期後, 09/14/2012又啟程往台北去了. 捨不得也没辦法, 一切放在禱告中. 隔天兒子出城, 老婆要我一起去兒子家看看. 其實不看還好, 每看必有事做. 老婆大概因為女兒剛走, 心裡空虛, 還做得更賣力, 這是空巢老人病的基本症狀之一. 没想到這次還有併發症, 主日早晨起來, 她右肩出了問題, 手臂往上抬一點點, 就疼痛不堪. 感謝神, 還好Dallas華人多, 星期天早晨也找得到中醫針灸.

送她去中醫那兒後, 我就到附近的Plano華人宣道會(PCAC)主日崇拜. 在那裡, 有很多的感觸. 十年多前, 我莫名其妙的走進PCAC, 從此就在真理的道路上往前行. 常偏離左右, 甚至跨出界線, 但是都有神的憐憫, 幫助我警醒回頭. 記得才三個月不到, 我就以太遠為由, 離開PCAC, 打算從此主日都留在家裡, 韜光養晦. 結果一個主日都没錯過, 因為神竟然把衪的一個家, 愛運恩友堂, 放到了我們家的巷口.

反省自己, 信主十年多, 信心時高時低. 高的時候, 偶而會有看似不錯的行為. 低的時候, 只差没請牧師幫我趕鬼. 雖然跟從主, 没有很捨己, 更没有天天背起自己的十字架, 是個如假包換的業餘基督徒. 生命是一條道路, 它的長度, 是神訂的, 人不能更改. 可它的寬度, 人能更改, 因為神賜給我們Free Will選擇怎麼走. 最近心裡有許多問題, 路不平坦, 常越走越窄. 感謝神的憐憫, 幫助我從反省中得益處, 肯試著去把路走寬, 在真理的道路上蒙福.

[後記]

Carol看了幾次中醫没進步, 昨天(09/20/2012) 我陪她去看西醫, 做了Steroid Injection. 感謝神, 今天進步了很多很多. 靈命若是也有藥可用, 那該多好? 先打一針愛是恆久忍耐, 再補一針又有恩慈, 後面那八個不, 混在血壓藥裡, 每天都記得吞, ... 

提後4:7讀後感

提摩太後書4:7, 保羅說: "那美好的仗我已經打過了. 當跑的路我已經跑盡了. 所信的道我已經守住了." 這是屬靈生命的高峰! 感動之餘, 發現這段經文, 也能勉強應用在男人的屬世生命上.

未婚男子為什麼叫單身漢? 因為, 單身的時候, 是一條漢子! 想做什麼就做什麼, 沒什麼責任要負. 遇到了另一半後, 從此放棄了自尊. 由追求到結婚, 留下今生最美好的回憶, 正是: "那美好的仗我已經打過了." 第二句很無奈: "當跑的路我已經跑盡了." 像不像從美夢中驚醒: "這下子我完了!" 不過就算時光倒流, 從頭再來一次, 大家都還是會走同樣的路. 最後那句: "所信的道我已經守住了." 宣告自己守住了所追求的, 唉! 這個代價是需要慢慢償還的. 男人從亞當開始, 都是自食惡果, 怨不得老婆凶.

不能再瞎掰了, 以羅馬書5:3自勉: "就是在患難中也是歡歡喜喜的." 感謝讚美主

Wrong Approach

John, the top marketing guy of a cola company, returned from unsuccessful assignment in the Middle East. A friend asked him: "Why weren't you successful with the Middle East?"

John said: "I didn't know any languages there (Arabic, Hebrew, ...), which didn't bother me at the beginning. I was very confident that I would make a good sales pitch. I planned to convey the message through 3 posters:

1st: A man lying in the hot desert sand totally exhausted and fainting;

2nd: The man is drinking cola;

3rd: Our man is now totally refreshed.

And then, these posters were posted all over the place."

"Terrific! That should have worked!" said the friend.
"It didn't!" John said "No one told me people there read from right to left!"

No idea who made up this story. It helped me getting things straight today. Recently, I posted my personal opinions on a few sermons. This story reminded me to look at things from different ends. Preachers deliver God's message. Message is there for everyone but not everyone will be touched. Because God will be gracious to whom he will be gracious, and will show mercy on whom he will show mercy. My opinions are really unnecessary in any cases. Psalms 106:25 came to touch my heart: “Talking against him secretly in their tents, they did not give ear to the voice of the Lord." It touched me the most in Chinese: "在自己帳棚內發怨言, 不聽耶和華的聲音.” Wow! That's exactly me. God, please forgive me. I had no intention to talk against you. Thank you for cleaning my thought and leading me back to the brightness.

聽道

馬太福音3:2説, “天國近了, 你們應當悔改.” 人生在世, 日子越過越少, 我因為律己甚寬, 還没認真悔改. 倒是一年比一年渴慕聽道, 對傳道人的要求也越來越嚴, 存著This one better be good的心聽道. 要求高但靈命不夠, 這是在潛意識中為自己找出路, 想把還没認真悔改歸咎於聽道没有得著.

 

今年(2012)到目前為止, 我只有三次聽道時没打瞌睡. 01/29, 楊長老在NLGC證道, 很有得著; 03/19, 鄔牧師在我父親的安息禮拜證道, 心情沈重, 無法入眠; 還有今天(08/12), 王牧師證道: "獻上神所悅納的靈祭", 其實我是很想睡的, 可他在台上講: "聽道睡著是不好的…" 我還真不好意思睡.

 

聖經說: "衪替我們死, 叫我們無論醒著,睡著, 都與衪同活." (帖前 5:10). 雖然不能用這段經文來漂白聽道睡著的行為, 但是我真的相信, 只要願意來參加主日崇拜, 無論醒着,睡着, 我們都在為與主同活努力... 感謝讚美主.