感謝主的預備

Last updated on 07/08/2024

2023年感恩節的前幾天, 我太太回台北陪媽媽, 要到聖誕節後才回來. 我一個人在家, 没人管我, 買了一大堆零食, 想吃什麼就吃什麼, 那日子過的可好了, 天天感謝讚美主. 神未曾應許, 天色常藍. 有一天, 我突然感覺到聖靈的催促, 要我與人和好. 因為聖靈曾經為別的事催促過我, 所以我對那感覺非常熟悉.

第一次催促, 我很驚訝. 没錯, 教會裡是有兩位同工, 我對他們非常有意見. 和好? 行啊! 聖靈為什麼不去感動他們呢? 没多久, 催促又來了, 我不敢再置之不理, 因為帖撒羅尼迦前書 5:19教導我們”不要消滅聖靈的感動”. 我心裡雖然嘀咕, 可我敬畏神, 只好開始反省. 聖靈清楚的提醒我, 有意見很正常, 帶著怒氣就破壞了和睦, 不能蒙神喜悦. 所以, 反省的結果是”我的心眼確實小了點兒.” 還在猶豫的時候, 聖靈又催促了, 我真的不知道衪在急什麼, 相信一定有原因, 我選擇順服, 開始認真思考要怎麼樣去和他們和好. 很奇妙, 從那一刻起, 我心裡對他們的怒氣就煙消雲散了, 感謝讚美主.

其中一位, 曾經養過隻大狼狗, 我剛好有個從拍賣會蒐集來的咖啡杯, 上面有個很好看的大狼狗圖像, 我就把它當作和好的敲門磚送給這位弟兄. 感謝主的帶領, 從他12/05的回應, 看的出來有被我感動到, 我覺得我們應該算是和好了. 另外一位, 我已經開始修補關係, 可還没來得及和好就出事了. 12/08, 我兒子被診斷有大腸癌. 天哪! 他才快要38歲! 這個晴天霹靂, 終結了我的好日子.

之後, 我雖然靠著禱告撑過每一天, 可我很没有信心, 經常會掛慮: “是不是昨天已經把恩典用完了?” 我又開始反省, 這才明白聖靈為什麼要催促我與人和好, 因為衪知道我將靠著禱告撑過每一天. 每位牧者都教導過我們, 禱告就是獻祭, 獻祭前要潔淨自己, 與人和好是必須的. 我没把聖靈催促的事做完, 心裡對主有虧欠, 當然没有信心. 我只好這樣安慰自己: “還好主先除去了我對兩位弟兄的怒氣, 雖然有一位還没來得及和好, 相信主有看到我的順服.” 接下去, 我繼續靠著禱告撑過每一天; 也繼續掛慮, 是不是昨天已經把恩典用完了?

12/20, 在我心情掉到谷底時, 主差遣那位没來得及和好的弟兄打電話來關心, 讓我非常感動, 從前的交情好像瞬間又恢復了. 感謝主幫助我重新得到信心, 不再有那麼多掛慮, 凡事藉著禱告,祈求和感謝, 將我所要的告訴主, 加上禱告會和小組的弟兄姊妹們的代禱, 出人意外的平安常常臨到我們.

主垂聽禱告, 按著衪自己的心意啟動了醫治, 整個過程快到超出我所求所想. 大家都知道, 專科醫生是最難約的, 12/13, 兒子已經見了一位很有名的腸腫瘤切除手術醫生. 接下去的十天, 主排除了各種障礙, 讓兒子完成了手術前必須做的所有檢驗. 經過聖誕節和年假, 01/02就完成了切除手術, 傷口恢復後, 01/26開始漫長的12次化療.

12/08, 兒子被診斷有大腸癌後, 我們像掉在大海裡, 完全失去了方向, 很無助, 也很害怕. 往回看, 主真是早有預備, 衪很快就引導我們走出了慌亂. 12/10的主日學時間, 潘湘岳弟兄把他自己得醫治的經過告訴我兒子. 他們倆的腫瘤部位幾乎一模一樣, 經過他的講解, 我們對整個狀况, 從一無所知變成相當瞭解. 潘弟兄酷酷的, 他在講述的過程裡, 語氣非常輕鬆, 好像在講一件發生在別人身上的事, 我們跟上了他的節奏, 聽著聽著也就不再那麼憂愁了. 後來動手術切除後, 意外發現, 他們倆的腫瘤, 竟然連長度都一樣! 感謝主在教會裡預備了潘弟兄, 他的苦難成為我們父子倆的祝福. 到現在, 我看到他都覺得像看到天使一樣, 永遠感謝他.

兒子在第二次化療後, 身體對化療藥物有很劇烈的反應, 幾乎撐不下去, 第三次化療前驗血, 因為兩項肝指數颩升了十幾倍, 不得不把化療順延一個星期. 有一天, 他告訴我他訂了骨灰罐, 想和我聊Rolling Oaks (Coppell的Cemetery), 這個話題會讓我心碎, 我不想碰觸, 可我又怕他壓在心裡太過沈重, 只好強忍著自己的心痛聽他説完, 要他別耽心, 如果真有這個需要, 我在Rolling Oaks的Spot會先給他用. 安撫完他再安撫自己, 找了個没人的地方, 大聲哭出來, 老淚縱橫的滋味, 真是不好受. 後來, 另外一位天使, 趙靜, 提醒我: “It’s a tough journey, he is preparing for the worst.” 兒子心裡的苦和身上的痛, 只有主和他知道, 傾聽是最好的陪伴, 很難, 感謝主加添給我的力量夠用. 07/05, 兒子終於完成12次化療, PET Scan没有發現任何癌細胞, 進入了5年的追踪期, 感謝讚美主.

這段日子裡, 順利的時候, 我常聽”主的恩典夠我用”這首詩歌感謝讚美主; 軟弱的時候, 我常聽”軟弱的我變剛強”這首詩歌勉勵自己; 實在走不出困境的時候, 就找個没人的地方… 眼淚流乾後, 回顧過去, 總是看到神早有預備, 真的是”回頭望去全是恩典”. 苦難中的忍耐和等待, 讓我和神更親近. 不敢想像, 當初要是選擇了消滅聖靈的感動, 現在會是個什麼樣的光景?

聖經並没有要求我們一定要同意弟兄姊妹們的看法, 但是衪要我們以愛與尊重和弟兄姊妹們在主內合一. 以弗所書 4:2~3要我們”凡事謙虛,溫柔,忍耐, 用愛心互相寛容, 用和平彼此聯絡, 竭力保守聖靈所賜合而為一的心.” 如果我們真的知道我們所信的是誰, 有許多事我們真的不需要拖到聖靈來催促我們. 在這裡, 特別要鼓勵那些有需要與人和好的弟兄姊妹們, 不要再猶豫, 下次守主餐前, 奉主的名與人和好, 出人意外的平安會臨到你們的. 感謝讚美主.

Randy we love you (2023-1228)

Dear Randy,

I hope this letter finds you well. I wanted to share with you something important Kat has been doing lately. She's been dedicated to the 21-Days Daniel Fast, a journey aimed at feeding the soul, strengthening the spirit, and renewing the body. This fasting period began on 12/10 and will conclude on 12/31.

Kat has been genuinely concerned about you, and her devotion includes frequent prayers for your well-being throughout these 21 days. It might sound a bit unconventional, but we've experienced some remarkably fortunate moments in the past few weeks, and it's hard to dismiss the potential impact of prayers. I'm grateful that Kat has willingly chosen to set aside her daily routine for this fast, with only 3 days left. Let's hope she accomplishes it faithfully, joyfully, and successfully, all for your benefit.

I understand that her expectations for your cooperation, especially regarding desserts and beverages, may feel a bit high. I know receiving such advice might be bothersome, but consider it a crucial and kind reminder during this crucial time. Stay strong; when God prunes away branches that don't bear fruit, the process may not be pleasant, but the ultimate consequence will be a source of joy.

Sending you positive vibes and hoping for your continued strength,

Dad

Randy we love you (2023-1225)

Dear Randy,

I hope this letter finds you in moments of strength and courage. Life has a funny way of throwing challenges our way, and I know that facing type 1 diabetes and a recent colon cancer diagnosis feels overwhelming.

I want you to know that you are not alone in this journey. We, your family, are here to support you every step of the way. Facing such health issues can be daunting, but with the right mindset and a few lifestyle changes, we can navigate this together.

Firstly, I want to emphasize the importance of quality sleep. I know you enjoy staying up late playing computer games, but ensuring you get enough rest is crucial for your overall well-being. Sleep is the body's way of healing, and in times like these, every bit of healing counts.

Consulting with a dietitian is another crucial step. A balanced and nutritious diet can make a significant difference in managing your conditions. They can help tailor a meal plan that suits your needs and supports your overall health.

Taking up light exercise is also essential. It doesn't have to be strenuous, but incorporating movement into your routine can help prevent weakness and improve your overall energy levels. Even a short walk each day can make a world of difference.

I also want to encourage you to consider spiritual support. Talking to Jesus and seeking His guidance can bring immense comfort and strength. Sometimes, faith can be a source of solace and resilience during challenging times.

Remember, Randy, this journey is about making small, positive changes every day. It's okay to ask for help, and it's okay to lean on your loved ones for support. You have the strength within you to face these challenges head-on, and we are here to walk beside you.

Wishing you strength, healing, and the courage to embrace positive changes.

With love,

Dad

主日的感動 (2023-1126)

今天胡牧師證道引用以弗所書5:22~33, 講夫妻的相處需要愛與尊重, 之間, 他分享了一個他的個人見證: 多年前, 他還在追求師母時, 有次他决定要分手. 原因是, 兩人只要起爭執, 不管他對他錯, 最後道歉的總是他, 這日子哪過的下去啊? 所以就不去找她了. 熬了没幾天, 在聖靈的催促下, 他買了束花去師母那兒敲門, 遞給她時説: “昨天的胡大仁已經死了…” 😂台下笑翻了! 都佩服胡牧師自己找台階下的本事. 胡牧師的Credit肯定很好, 用這方法的成功率應該是100%. 感謝讚美主.

Carol和我, 在家常各執己見, 互不相讓. 可當我們短時間分開時, 就比較能體諒對方, 相互間會多幾句好話. 有次我從台灣傳簡訊問她些事, 一下子就解决了, 雙方還噓寒問暖了幾句, 那感覺真是很不錯, 一時忘了我在她那兒没什麼Credit, 傳給她這個: “I’ll be a better husband when I go home.” 完了還期待會有個比較感性的回應, 她倒是馬上就回了, 只有一個字: “屁”. 😂